Confusion

Rather stressed. Chemistry is falling down lower and lower on the I give a crap scale… but other then chemistry, things are going really well. I am done my surrealist art project. It is crap and I’m so in on the ceremonial project burning at the end of semester. Stupid Mayfair paper. Stupid! Now it’s time for acrylic painting!!! Now we’re talking. I need to go to Swintons. I love Swintons. If I ever win the lottery, I tell ya…

Mark’s going to win a Nobel prize along with a lot of money for his new chemistry formula. Now he won’t need to go to university.

Arg, university. Why do I have no idea where I’m going? I should just choose something… run down a course list with my eyes closed and pick what I land on. Plumbing! What the—! But seriously, it’s basically down to the University of Calgary, SAIT, Alberta College of Art, or one of the private Christian ones, but there especially I’d have no idea what to take. So confusing. I think I’ll just get married to a redhead and have my five kids (boy, girl, girl, girl, boy) and paint in my free time.

If only.

Any normal person would just resign herself to taking general courses at university. It’s called a reality check. It’s the last thing I want.

And the worst thing is that almost all my friends know what they’re doing. I wish I had a still-viable childhood dream. Like Alex has wanted to be a vet ever since she first petted a puppy. Now she’s applying to university and getting right on her career path. And then there’s me. Saying I want to do something involving computers is as specific as saying she’s over there, without pointing.

When I was a child I wanted to be a teacher. And then I taught Sunday school. And then I realized that you have to be a whole lot braver and more assertive than I am. And it doesn’t hurt to be pretty so the kids will like you. And I realized that I hate being in schools and why would I want to spend the rest of my life working in one? So that ‘dream’ went flying out the window with astonishing speed.

Things will work out so I’m not going to worry about it. I’ll just keep my eye out for redheads who would be willing to marry me… hehehe kidding!

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.” —Bridget Jones