Enough is Plenty
Here’s the thing: I was raised in the church my whole life. I was raised by that proverbial village and I loved it. When you live in a community like that, your life’s happenings matter to others, and that’s a good thing.
All that to say, when people ask me when we’re going to have kids, it doesn’t enter my mind to be offended or to say it’s none of their business. As far as I’m concerned, they might not have a big say in the progression of the timeline, but in some sense, it is their business because of how happy it will make them when we do sprout some babes. So, ask away, church ladies!
I am annoyed by something related to the issue, though.
Truth is, we’re still sorting out our job and financial situation. Tom has some excellent and promising lines in the water and I do a bit of childcare but the monthly income is still fluctuating quite a bit. My pet peeve is when, after being asked when we’ll have kids and getting the “when we’re financially stable” answer, people get super uppity… though I know it’s well-meaning. They all say the same thing: you’ll never save enough or plan enough. You’ll wait forever that way– just dive in and everything will sort itself out!
It makes me irritated because I think it’s terrible advice and doesn’t account for the nuances of a situation. Having a baby is scary enough without fretting about money at the same time! I don’t think it’s unreasonable to hold off until cash is rolling in with some level of predictability.
I know what they’re trying to say, but we won’t wait forever. We’re not saving up to a magic number. Surely they recognize a difference between plain stability and unattainable excess. We’re taking a few final stabs at living the dream.
For the church ladies: My part-time nannying job, friends’ kids and sweet nieces are really doing it for me at the moment. I think we’re several months off from starting down the baby trail ourselves. Some days I feel pretty ready; most days, not quite. Either way though, I know we could make it work right now if we had to. I mean, we have some names picked out and that’s the hardest part, right?