Bad Baby Names

2014 Girl Names

August 2, 2015

Alphabetical list of all girl names in Alberta, Canada (2014)

Gosh. The 2014 Girl Names are just surreal. I should apologize in advance for what you’re about to see.

Where to start? Well, things got pretty frilly around here last year with Sparkle, Twinkle, Pixie, Jewels, Miracle and Treasure. 6 girls named Precious. 11 parents just bit the bullet and went with Princess. And 1 Queen.

3 girls were named Unique, which is funny. 1 is named Uniquee.

Did you think that weird X trend was limited to boy names? You wish! And so do Braxtyn, Brixton, Caylex, Ceroxity, Haixin, Ilexi, Kaelyx, Luxley, Nixxie and Rexlyn. Really? 4 girls named Bexley?

Wait, what? 119 combined instances of Everlea, Everlee, EverLee, Everleigh, Everley, Everli and Everly? I have never heard this name in my life and apparently it had a popularity comparable with “Claire” last year.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw only 6 girls named Neveah, but then realized that’s only haeven spelled backwards. There were still 44 named Nevaeh, but that’s down from 63 in 2013! I’m barely even mad about Aveah and Tarveah now!

Duncan and I have just discovered the hours-of-fun game of pretending that our names are Who, What, Why, Yes, etc. and having hilarious Who’s-on-First-esque dialogues. Probably not so funny for the girl who was named Y last year.

I don’t mind giving boys last-names as first-names (Anderson, Carter, Harrison etc.) but it seems borderline risky for girls. What if they wind up wanting to marry someone who has their first name as their last name? And what if you’ve butchered the spelling of it so it looks even more silly side-by-side? We could have…

  • MaKynlee McKinley
  • Phynlee Finley
  • Lenyx Lennox
  • Kynsleigh Kinsley
  • Prentyce Prentice
  • Kenzxi McKenzie

Even spelled right, they’re just ugly as girl names: Foster, Gibson, Huxley, Reynolds and the eyebrow raising Marshall-Heigl. Very much hoping this is an error and that’s actually her last name.

Isis is an unfortunate name to have these days, but there were still 5 of them in 2014. At best it could lead to some awkward conversations. “Isis’ behavior has been appalling this week.” “I know, I heard they executed five people yesterday.” “No, I meant my baby. She keeps knocking her yogurt onto the floor.” “Well that seems pretty tame now.” And you know, spelling it as Isyss doesn’t really improve the situation that much.

Kayvah. Because we ran out of ways to spell Ava wrong.

Here we go— 2 girls named Katniss. Okay, listen. It’s not that bad of a name. She’ll go by Kat and have a perfectly normal life. It’s just that, when you’re a Katniss or a Daenerys or a Tauriel born in 2014, everyone’s going to associate that one book/show/movie with you for years. There’s no question where that name came from because it couldn’t have come from anywhere else— like if you named a boy Lestat in the 80s. (Same with Renesmee but thank goodness there are none in 2014!) Every time she says, “Hey, my name’s Katniss” people are going to think if not say, “Wow, your parents really liked the Hunger Games, hey?” The reason I think this is because people have said to me, “Your parents must’ve really like Les Misérables” and Colette isn’t even the name of the girl in Les Misérables. Katniss is going to get tired of hearing about that movie before she’s even old enough to watch it. Daenerys is never going to want to hear about dragons again. And Tauriel will just have to live with a weird name because everyone has already forgotten about the Hobbit movies.

Eww, which is worse? Haisleigh or Hayzley? Which reminds me— you heard it here first. I have identified the next “Sounds-like-Aiden” name, but this one’s for girls: “Sounds like Hayley.” Of course Bailey, Hayley and Kaylee have been around for ages, but some outliers have cropped up this year: Aylee, Braylee (ugh), Daylee, Jaylee, Laylee, Raylee, Saylee, Shaylee, Staylee (?!) and Taylee.

Uh oh! Jackson misspellings are leaking over to the female gender! Jaxsyn and Jaxson. And Jackz.

Ugh, my soul hurts. Let’s do some lists.

Terrible Spellings of Good Names

  • Alexzhandra
  • Brookelan
  • Jessicca
  • Kaidynce
  • Maredyth
  • Reachael
  • Sarrinah
  • Sharlett

Terrible Spellings of Bad Names

  • Havyk
  • Justyce
  • Krymson
  • NaeKayla
  • Persephoney
  • Savvanah
  • Zeplynn

Bewildering Things to Name a Human Female

  • Chancellor
  • Harbor
  • Legend
  • Rogue
  • Sheriff

Weird Word Names

  • Light
  • Majesty
  • Maple
  • Peaches
  • Whisper

Hippie Overload

  • Echo-May
  • Harper-Moon
  • Harvest-Rose
  • Hope-Angel
  • Laurel-Spring
  • Morning-Star
  • Wynter-Rose
  • Wynter-Skye

Just Plain Bad

  • Chryscial
  • Kaidalyn
  • Kearstene
  • Kovlyn
  • Raineeville
  • Trezlyn

Spellcheck Alert

  • FaybleHarmenie
  • Jurnee
  • Legacie
  • Paitience
  • Prizm
  • Rythem
  • Starlyng
  • Symphany
  • Treazure
  • Trinidy

And oh my gosh, people! Serenity is not that great of a name, but please just spell it right if you need to have it, Sirenity, Serinity and Serenidy!

Ho’ man, the pool is deep for picking the worst girl name of 2014. Nevaehleigh perhaps? Qiersteine? Thumbelina-Jane? Let’s just go with Ja’Niyalee and pretend this was all just a bad dream.


Disclaimer: This is meant to be fun and not intended to hurt feelings. I know that baby names are a very personal taste. You will probably think my own eventual baby name picks are boring.



Hey guys. I'm just some girl who enjoys life and thinks a lot. I'm a full-time wife & mom who loves gardens, coffee dates and cats, particularly my cat.